[ megumi notices it too, how talking about his erstwhile guardian just seems to tick his biological father off to heaven's heights. some kind of insecurity? certainly not over gojo raising his son; he was ready to give megumi away twice. it's something else, but megumi can't grasp at the shape of its edges. ]
You could make new friends here if you want.
[ for want of something to do, and it's quickly becoming a crutch now, megumi summons a rabbit from the shadows. he doesn't use the summoning gestures anymore, just touching his fingertips where the shadow falls and pulling them up and out, easy as breathing. one rabbit, two rabbits, three. ]
[ Toji doesn’t have a response for making friends here. He’s not really interested in that, but if asked when he was his happiest, it was when he had some form of companionship— friendship or romance. It was isolating to not have cursed energy, but here, it doesn’t matter since most people don’t have it anyway.
He watches the rabbits appear with a tired expression. This kid just keeps asking the hard questions, but as shady as he is, he’s not much of a liar. ]
You do.
[ But it’s not because of who Megumi is. It even isn’t exactly the fact that he is Toji’s. It’s because being around Toji means he has some sort of responsibility, and he knows he is no good for that. ]
—But even so, I never wanted to do things that weren’t right for you.
[ sorry for what? megumi frowns at himself, at the thought. there’s no reason for him to claim responsibility for his father’s discomfort; the man left, first of all, and hadn’t they agreed to give only what they were willing to give? they should only accept what they’re willing to accept, too.
but the fact remains that this man is megumi’s father. however it was that megumi came about, his existence requires fushiguro toji to exist first. ]
You don’t have to feel responsible for me anymore, if that’s what bothers you. I can take care of myself now.
[so why am i here still?
one of the rabbits chirps up at him, questioning his mood. megumi covers its face with his palm and rubs down on its fur. he sighs, and dalls back on the one topic he’s fairly certain they can talk about. ]
What was your plan, after selling me to Naobito? Everyone was surprised when he named me heir in his will. Was that your doing?
[ There’s a couple of reasons, most of them are pretty petty but Toji is allowed to be validated considering his past with his clan. He leans forward, resting his elbow on his knee and shoving his chin in his hand to regard Megumi. ]
It was part of our agreement.
[ but he doesn’t answer the rest of the question. ]
Why would I be mad at you? You were already dead by then, weren't you? You'd been gone from my life for over a decade, I didn't expect that to change.
[ he waves the rabbits away, sits back on his hands to look up at toji in the eyes. ]
What's left of the clan is my responsibility now. If I'd known it would be... I'd have wanted to prepare for it. Figure out what people actually need, and not just the ones who have cursed energy — I'd want to carve out a space for Maki, who has Heavenly Restriction, and for Mai, who has cursed energy but not the kind the clan heads would've wanted.
It's a selfish thing to want, right? To just come into a family with so much history and change everything because I want to. But there is more to the world than me. There are people out there who deserve to live fairly, even if the world is unfair.
After Sukuna, I promised myself I'd live for others. Be someone who helped good people do good things, not just do what's expected of me.
[ megumi sighs. ]
They probably won't take me seriously, though. Or take me too seriously. I'm not sure which is worse.
[ He isn’t sure what he expected Megumi to say, but it wasn’t that. It wasn’t word for word the exact reason why Toji wanted that arrangement to be done. Although Megumi was a baby, he was born out of that fucked up mess, and Toji has faith that he could shape the estate into something else. Something better. Something where everyone could be treated equally, cursed energy or not; man or woman.
To hear it, though.
His tired eye grow ever slightly, each time Megumi rambles on, and Toji is certain he feels his heart jump. It’s pride. He’s proud. But also, he knew he was right about it and he loves being right about things.
Briefly, a small smile appears on his face as he looks away from Megumi and at the arena. The smile is gone in an instant. Megumi might miss it if he blinks. ]
That’s exactly why.
[ He doesn’t know who Maki is, but if she was in the same situation as him, he knows she was probably treated even worse than him. And Sukuna? He will have to revisit that. He knows that name from having to study about it.
But first, he has to bask in whatever euphoric feeling he has right now. His lips might even still be a little upturned in the corners. ]
[ he's still not sure he's built for this. he's still expecting — hoping — for gojo-sensei to help him, to guide him in this brand-new age of sorcery. he doesn't know what he's doing any better than he did months ago, when his biggest concern was keeping up with gojo-sensei's training, going on errands across the country while juggling homework.
the world is so much more confusing now. all the rules are different, and so are the people involved. it's an exciting, terrifying time, and megumi wishes he felt more secure of his place in it. ]
It'll be a lot of work. As I told you, a big part of the family's gone, so we're probably rebuilding from the ground up.
[ Happy and proud are weird and foreign feelings for him to experience, so it takes a moment to process that. Megumi asks a question and he doesn’t respond right away but then he finally tears his gaze away from the empty arena to regard his son. ]
[ megumi hopes that ends that particular line of argument; the shikigami answer to megumi, but they are their own beings. only the gyokuken are truly his, their forms born from his cursed energy, but the others have existed perhaps long before even the zen'in line came to prominence. he respects each one, and they serve him sincerely in return.
the datto are familiar with toji now, and they have a childish dislike against the man, so megumi herds the few he's called up to huddle next to him as he summons kon this time. quick, efficient gestures; the summoning is practically instinctual now. kon rises from the shadows like an eldritch being, all large and hulking with his tongue lolling out from between large, monstrous teeth.
megumi leans under the giant wolf-dog's chest, scratches him where the scruff thins out just a little leading to the underbelly. ]
I hope I didn't disturb your rest, [ megumi starts off, reaching up to scratch at the shikigami's neck now. ] I've got someone for you to meet.
This is Fushiguro-san. He's my father. [ kon... growls a little. ] Don't bite him, please.
[ then, to toji; ]
Hold out your hand. He's a shikigami, so it shouldn't really matter, but he behaves like a dog. I think that part's my fault.
[ The way Megumi is trying hard to build up some kind of relationship is really endearing and Toji tries not to focus on the years that he missed seeing Megumi develop into such a responsible and mature person. His eyes dully shift to Kon. ]
I know what they are. They won't like me cause I smell like a curse.
[ He does, because he always has one wrapped around his body. Even if the inventory spirit is tucked away in his stomach, Kon might smell remnants of it on his skin. ]
If he behaves like a dog, then it's impressive training on your part.
[ PRAISE?? He doesn't really hold out his hand, though, but he does halfway hold it out, keeping it low. ]
[ sheepishly; ] Probably closer to the truth is they adapted to me, rather than me training them. They looked like big dogs when they manifested, so I treated them that way.
Sensei had to teach me not to keep them summoned all the time, back then. [ it was lonely at first, especially when tsumiki couldn't see them but could feel something was in the room. ] I tried to feed them a few times. Normal food. Then I found out they eat cursed spirits instead.
[ he misses the gyokuken's split forms. kon is great as he is now, but he grew up with shiro and kuro. pity that you couldn't take pictures of shikigami without using a cursed object, the possible photos themselves turning into cursed objects too.
kon nudges his muzzle against toji's hand, then just swallows the arm a bit. no pressure, no edge to the gesture, just a big dog learning the scent and taste of a new person. the man's a bit stinky, because of the worm curse, but that's fine. ]
He won't eat you. The worm is... it won't even register as a snack with how weak it is, so it's not appealing. Kon's the only Divine Dog I have now, but he eats enough for two.
[ his son is so chatty… how and why. That’s definitely a mom trait.
Toji doesn’t react when Kon puts his maw around him, but he won’t hesitate if he feels anything more then just a little pressure. ]
I knew of its existence, so I sought it out. Took a long time to find. If I raised it well, I knew it would form an irreplaceable bond with me. Seemed perfect for what I needed it for.
[ he wouldn't be so chatty if he wasn't the only one carrying the conversation, jeez. even kon groans a little, one ear twitching as he play-bites the man's arm a little more. what a meaty guy, this one, not like his human who's all soft and squishy. ]
You could've done the same with me. But I guess a curse is easier to take care of, when you think about it.
[ he's not as upset as he thinks he would be, hearing this answer. mildly upset, only because what i needed for sticks to the back of his throat. what about him, then? what was he useful for?
pragmatically, not much. kids aren't all that useful while they're babies. whatever. ]
[ the sass his kid has is unreal. Toji begins to speak, firmly, revisiting what Megumi is trying to move away from. ]
I could not. The spirit has weak cursed energy, it can be reduced in size and fit in my stomach, making it harder to detect. Don’t act like you have me all figured out, Megumi. I wasn’t lying when I said I kill sorcerers— and to be successful, I have to be undetectable.
[ Nibble all you like, Kon. It doesn’t look like Toji seems to mind. The assassin gestures his finger with his free hand at Megumi. ]
I’ll train when I say we are training and I’ll also say for how long. You don’t get to decide that.
I'm not trying to figure you out at all. I never said I didn't believe you, either.
[ naoya zen'in had tried to kill him in shinjuku. sukuna had tried to suffocate him in his inner domain. and the memories of everyone coming at sukuna with everything they had, well knowing that they're condemning megumi to death if they succeed. at this point, hanging out with people who weren't trying to kill him is the odd encounter.
he doesn't blame anyone for the way he turned out, or at least he thinks he doesn't. he just wants to understand why. ]
You said earlier that we would tomorrow. If you don't actually want to, you don't have to agree with me. Just say so and don't make things up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You could make new friends here if you want.
[ for want of something to do, and it's quickly becoming a crutch now, megumi summons a rabbit from the shadows. he doesn't use the summoning gestures anymore, just touching his fingertips where the shadow falls and pulling them up and out, easy as breathing. one rabbit, two rabbits, three. ]
Do I make you uncomfortable?
no subject
He watches the rabbits appear with a tired expression. This kid just keeps asking the hard questions, but as shady as he is, he’s not much of a liar. ]
You do.
[ But it’s not because of who Megumi is. It even isn’t exactly the fact that he is Toji’s. It’s because being around Toji means he has some sort of responsibility, and he knows he is no good for that. ]
—But even so, I never wanted to do things that weren’t right for you.
no subject
[ sorry for what? megumi frowns at himself, at the thought. there’s no reason for him to claim responsibility for his father’s discomfort; the man left, first of all, and hadn’t they agreed to give only what they were willing to give? they should only accept what they’re willing to accept, too.
but the fact remains that this man is megumi’s father. however it was that megumi came about, his existence requires fushiguro toji to exist first. ]
You don’t have to feel responsible for me anymore, if that’s what bothers you. I can take care of myself now.
[ so why am i here still?
one of the rabbits chirps up at him, questioning his mood. megumi covers its face with his palm and rubs down on its fur. he sighs, and dalls back on the one topic he’s fairly certain they can talk about. ]
What was your plan, after selling me to Naobito? Everyone was surprised when he named me heir in his will. Was that your doing?
1/2
You ask too many goddamn questions.
[ that he was not prepared for. He was peacefully dead, and now he’s back to life and having to deal with all of this. He never asked for it!! ]
2/2
It was part of our agreement.
[ but he doesn’t answer the rest of the question. ]
What? Do you not like it? You mad at me?
no subject
[ he waves the rabbits away, sits back on his hands to look up at toji in the eyes. ]
What's left of the clan is my responsibility now. If I'd known it would be... I'd have wanted to prepare for it. Figure out what people actually need, and not just the ones who have cursed energy — I'd want to carve out a space for Maki, who has Heavenly Restriction, and for Mai, who has cursed energy but not the kind the clan heads would've wanted.
It's a selfish thing to want, right? To just come into a family with so much history and change everything because I want to. But there is more to the world than me. There are people out there who deserve to live fairly, even if the world is unfair.
After Sukuna, I promised myself I'd live for others. Be someone who helped good people do good things, not just do what's expected of me.
[ megumi sighs. ]
They probably won't take me seriously, though. Or take me too seriously. I'm not sure which is worse.
no subject
To hear it, though.
His tired eye grow ever slightly, each time Megumi rambles on, and Toji is certain he feels his heart jump. It’s pride. He’s proud. But also, he knew he was right about it and he loves being right about things.
Briefly, a small smile appears on his face as he looks away from Megumi and at the arena. The smile is gone in an instant. Megumi might miss it if he blinks. ]
That’s exactly why.
[ He doesn’t know who Maki is, but if she was in the same situation as him, he knows she was probably treated even worse than him. And Sukuna? He will have to revisit that. He knows that name from having to study about it.
But first, he has to bask in whatever euphoric feeling he has right now. His lips might even still be a little upturned in the corners. ]
no subject
[ he's still not sure he's built for this. he's still expecting — hoping — for gojo-sensei to help him, to guide him in this brand-new age of sorcery. he doesn't know what he's doing any better than he did months ago, when his biggest concern was keeping up with gojo-sensei's training, going on errands across the country while juggling homework.
the world is so much more confusing now. all the rules are different, and so are the people involved. it's an exciting, terrifying time, and megumi wishes he felt more secure of his place in it. ]
It'll be a lot of work. As I told you, a big part of the family's gone, so we're probably rebuilding from the ground up.
...Do you want to meet my shikigami?
no subject
[ Happy and proud are weird and foreign feelings for him to experience, so it takes a moment to process that. Megumi asks a question and he doesn’t respond right away but then he finally tears his gaze away from the empty arena to regard his son. ]
They won’t like me.
no subject
[ megumi hopes that ends that particular line of argument; the shikigami answer to megumi, but they are their own beings. only the gyokuken are truly his, their forms born from his cursed energy, but the others have existed perhaps long before even the zen'in line came to prominence. he respects each one, and they serve him sincerely in return.
the datto are familiar with toji now, and they have a childish dislike against the man, so megumi herds the few he's called up to huddle next to him as he summons kon this time. quick, efficient gestures; the summoning is practically instinctual now. kon rises from the shadows like an eldritch being, all large and hulking with his tongue lolling out from between large, monstrous teeth.
megumi leans under the giant wolf-dog's chest, scratches him where the scruff thins out just a little leading to the underbelly. ]
I hope I didn't disturb your rest, [ megumi starts off, reaching up to scratch at the shikigami's neck now. ] I've got someone for you to meet.
This is Fushiguro-san. He's my father. [ kon... growls a little. ] Don't bite him, please.
[ then, to toji; ]
Hold out your hand. He's a shikigami, so it shouldn't really matter, but he behaves like a dog. I think that part's my fault.
no subject
I know what they are. They won't like me cause I smell like a curse.
[ He does, because he always has one wrapped around his body. Even if the inventory spirit is tucked away in his stomach, Kon might smell remnants of it on his skin. ]
If he behaves like a dog, then it's impressive training on your part.
[ PRAISE?? He doesn't really hold out his hand, though, but he does halfway hold it out, keeping it low. ]
no subject
Sensei had to teach me not to keep them summoned all the time, back then. [ it was lonely at first, especially when tsumiki couldn't see them but could feel something was in the room. ] I tried to feed them a few times. Normal food. Then I found out they eat cursed spirits instead.
[ he misses the gyokuken's split forms. kon is great as he is now, but he grew up with shiro and kuro. pity that you couldn't take pictures of shikigami without using a cursed object, the possible photos themselves turning into cursed objects too.
kon nudges his muzzle against toji's hand, then just swallows the arm a bit. no pressure, no edge to the gesture, just a big dog learning the scent and taste of a new person. the man's a bit stinky, because of the worm curse, but that's fine. ]
He won't eat you. The worm is... it won't even register as a snack with how weak it is, so it's not appealing. Kon's the only Divine Dog I have now, but he eats enough for two.
How'd you get the worm?
no subject
Toji doesn’t react when Kon puts his maw around him, but he won’t hesitate if he feels anything more then just a little pressure. ]
I knew of its existence, so I sought it out. Took a long time to find. If I raised it well, I knew it would form an irreplaceable bond with me. Seemed perfect for what I needed it for.
no subject
You could've done the same with me. But I guess a curse is easier to take care of, when you think about it.
[ he's not as upset as he thinks he would be, hearing this answer. mildly upset, only because what i needed for sticks to the back of his throat. what about him, then? what was he useful for?
pragmatically, not much. kids aren't all that useful while they're babies. whatever. ]
So we're training tomorrow. All day?
no subject
I could not. The spirit has weak cursed energy, it can be reduced in size and fit in my stomach, making it harder to detect. Don’t act like you have me all figured out, Megumi. I wasn’t lying when I said I kill sorcerers— and to be successful, I have to be undetectable.
[ Nibble all you like, Kon. It doesn’t look like Toji seems to mind. The assassin gestures his finger with his free hand at Megumi. ]
I’ll train when I say we are training and I’ll also say for how long. You don’t get to decide that.
[ Brat. Must be Gojo rubbing off on him. ]
no subject
[ naoya zen'in had tried to kill him in shinjuku. sukuna had tried to suffocate him in his inner domain. and the memories of everyone coming at sukuna with everything they had, well knowing that they're condemning megumi to death if they succeed. at this point, hanging out with people who weren't trying to kill him is the odd encounter.
he doesn't blame anyone for the way he turned out, or at least he thinks he doesn't. he just wants to understand why. ]
You said earlier that we would tomorrow. If you don't actually want to, you don't have to agree with me. Just say so and don't make things up.
🎀
His other hand lifts and settles on Kon’s head, giving him what seems to be a pleasant pet. ]
Hnn.
[ After a moment of silence, Toji stands to his feet and stretches out his body, seeming to start to make his leave, and then: ]
6am. Don’t be late.
[ BONDING 🥹 ]