come over here then we can make a mess out of my bathtub
[ It's risky, playing with cursed blood like this, but Toji was all about the gamble. Besides, if things get too sticky, he can turn the shower back on them.
It takes a moment, but Toji reads that message again. He's not the best with social cues but, something about how that text is on the screen seems.. fond? Oh well. He's not going to worry about how Choso feels about him. He's obviously just a wretched thing with no self control. Toji doesn't mind entertaining it if it also gets him off too. ]
[ a wretched thing with no self control is about right. choso certainly is the embodiment of it, skittering his way to where he knows Toji to be. it doesn't take long at all before he's there, knocking like it's just another visit, just another social call with anyone else.
waiting on the other side of the door stands choso. LILITH grey sweats seem to be his go-to outfit, but today his hair hangs loose, brushing just above his shoulders in a thick, dark mop. over his usual scent of iron lingers something softer; soap and shampoo, like maybe he'd scrubbed himself down before he could bring himself to message Toji in the first place; a ritual bath before battle. ]
[ The door opens and Choso is greeted by Toji, who, for whatever reason, seems to be in a fairly good mood. He steps out and shuts the door, already wielding a dagger, but one, heavy arm drapes around Choso, pulling him in as he begins to walk. ]
Don't tell me that I have been in your mind lately.
[ he can't lie; not that he's able to do it well, but he doesn't doubt that Toji could pick it up in a heartbeat. but that's that, and this is this, and when the man's arm slings over his shoulders, Choso is too glad to walk crushed in as close as he can.
he's feeling bold enough to curl an arm around Toji's back, hand fitted against his treetrunk waist. ]
[ Toji seems to be guiding him somewhere, but like last time, he has a tendency to be a little impatient. Down the Brimstone hall they go, but he can't resist halting and cornering Choso against one of the walls. Instantly, Toji latches his mouth onto Choso's neck, speaking in between his progress to mark him up. ]
[ there is a distant thought that maybe someone will hear them, will see them, will know them, but it's such a small and inconsequential thing that it's easily drowned in everything else. pain, physical and inward, like a perfect cleansing burn. he proves Toji right by baring his throat, the back of his head thunking against the wall without further care given. ]
I can't.
[ strained. one hand curls into a claw over Toji's back, the other lifting as if to pull his head close, closer, always closer. ]
[ Velvet soft is the patch of skin that Toji nurses, scraping his teeth with a tantalizing sting that was only the kind of love language he knew how to give this wretched creature. It was passionate, but violent, and somewhere in the midst of it.. some sort of reassurance that he wouldn't just kill Choso. He proved that to be true during their last encounter.
His teeth gnash in, just shy of breaking skin, but he knows better than to intake any of his putrid blood. He pulls away with a hot breath. ]
Cause you're weak.
[ He hums, thoughtfully, and like always, the only way he could show he actually had someone of care for the curse was to set certain boundaries. ]
[ perhaps it was why Choso craved this pain so; coming from a man so fine-tuned for violence as Toji, the play of his teeth skirting that fine line between pain and true injury was... what? a thrill? of course, but it was a promise, too. ]
I am.
[ breathed, mumbled, a confession for Toji's sharp ears alone. Choso's fingers curl into shorter hair, his head tipping forward so he can whisper, ]
My chest. Thighs. Will that be enough? I can give you my back, too, but I want to see you more.
[ He watches as the other man so easily gets drawn into the heat of it already. It was almost intoxicating to watch. And why? Toji didn't know. Maybe it's because he knew he could be cruel and they both would find enjoyment out of it.
He takes a sharp inhale through his nose and pulls away, dragging Choso against his body once more as they exit the base. ]
[ bruises lasted longer than the lingering warmth of mere touch, stark reminders in too-pale skin of the teeth that had laid them there in the first place. Choso, he becomes so tangled into the moment that when Toji pulls away, it takes three seconds too long to realize it before he's moving again.
he's still uncertain if the frustration at Toji's capriciousness is a perk or not. ]
Your generosity knows no bounds.
[ a little sharper, a little huffier, annoyance borne from his now-obvious arousal left high and dry. nothing really got him as antsy as Toji's brand of teasing. ]
[ The way he cradles Choso, escorting him across to street to a shoddy little inn makes him almost seem like he's holding him close; like something to be cherished. Warmth is radiating off of his body into the chilly night, and there is a smile on his face that looks a little more genuine than his snarky little smirk. There really isn't much reason for being in such a good mood other than the fact that he was in the mood to have sex and Choso messaged him at the right moment.
He stops once they cross the street, catching Choso by the chin to kiss him on the mouth wordlessly, the dull side of his knife idly dragging up and down the top of his arm. He snakes the tip of it under Choso's shirt, and, still on the dull side, drags it along his abdomen, teasing with the steel and not cutting at all. His tongue knows no patience, pushing past his lips and sliding into Choso's mouth. ]
[ somehow, it feels more perverse than even their brand of sex to enjoy the simple warmth of walking at Toji’s side. the illusion of normalcy paints what has become a familiar walk in colours more deviant than what they were there for in the first place. how silly. how absurd. yet somehow his heart beats harder for it, and the heat in his belly only grows all the more.
perhaps it’s why he all but melts against Toji when kissed. like his nerves are all irregular, wires crossed and circuits malfunctioning. the dull edge of the knife is almost electric. when their tongues meet, he groans low and hot into Toji’s mouth, inviting him in, damned whoever may be out and about to see. ]
[ Toji couldn't exactly put a finger on what it was, but something seemed a little different with Choso since the last time they had an encounter. He didn't seem nearly as agitated, almost overly eager to submit to whatever Toji wanted. It wasn't exactly what he was expecting. Either way, he pulls away after he's kissed him deeply and continues to drag him along to the inn. It's not a love hotel, it's just a cheap place to stay. ]
Something isn't right with you. Wanna tell me what it is?
[ As they enter, like before, there's an AI kiosk waiting to dispense their keys, and surprisingly, Toji actually goes ahead and pays for the room this time. ]
[ something isn’t right with you. has anything ever been right with Choso? since his incarnation, it doesn’t feel like there has. a year and a half of life and it doesn’t feel like it, like it’s even possible to be right in the ways that mattered.
something isn’t right with you, choso. what could it be? ]
I got tired of being angry.
[ he speaks as he looks around the lobby, idly picking out the little details that set it apart from the usual love hotel. even while Toji pays, he doesn’t leave the man’s side. ]
I want to be greedy instead. So here I am. Taking my fill.
[ His half lidded eyes study Choso for a moment, looking for any sort of small indication-- any sort of clue as to why Choso got tired of being angry, or what something like that actually means.
The key is spit out from the kiosk and he puts it in his pocket along with his dagger, and since it's eerily absent here, his hand clasps the back of Choso's head, grabbing a fistful of hair. ]
[ the yank elicits a sudden, surprised snarl, all teeth and guttural noise. his heart rate ramps up, pulse a heavy pound in his chest, but his blood stays in his body even while his hands snap up to wrap in a white-knuckled grip around Toji’s wrist.
stupid, greedy curse. it like he was hoping for this; it isn’t the same if he can’t dig his heels in just to feel the futility of it. ]
[ It doesn't take him long to bring Choso to their room, and immediately he takes him to the bathtub, releasing him only when he's gotten him into the bathtub and on his back. Just like Choso wanted, he's allowing himself to be seen through all of this. Before Toji joins him, though, he clicks on the shower, even though Choso is still clothed.
As for him, he starts to undress, standing outside of the bath, the bare, over head light flickering now and then. The hotel room itself smelled of ash.
The shirt gets peeled off and the knife gets placed on the sink counter as he talks: ]
What do you want from me? This greed you're talking about, tell me.
[ unlike the love hotel, with its themes and bright lights and eye-catching colours, the hotel room they’ve gotten this time is a dreary little thing, forgettable, no cleaner than the alley behind it. seems fitting, somehow. seems just right, some way.
sprawled on his back in the tub, Choso can feel under his palms where the enamel has begun to crack from age, where old soap scum still lingers. the flickering of the light keeps drawing his gaze up, so when the water turns on it catches him in the eyes, turns the world into a stinging smear of shitty fluorescents and shittier tiles. as his clothing soaks through, the outline of his hard-on is impossible to hide.
sputtering and coughing under the deluge, Choso tries to ward it away from his face as he squints up, shoe squeaking against the tub in his fruitless attempt to sit up. ]
Everything.
[ his voice is made thick by the rivulets running into his mouth, his attempts to breathe out harder to keep the water from going up his nose again. ]
I want your attention. I want your touch. I want the bruises you give me because they make me think of you every time they ache.
[ bold, unabashed. in this dirty dank place, he spits this confession out with iron-tang water, his offering to this dreadful little altar they’re making of the room. ]
I want your cock, because when you use me, I can think I’m giving you something no one else can. I can be selfish even when I give you my whole body.
[ Fortunately, the temperature from the water is pleasant enough; not too hot, not too cold. His shirt is discarded by the time that Choso starts to speak, and what Toji expects to be bedroom talk makes an unexpected turn.
It's a love confession, whether Choso recognizes that or not.
Slowly, Toji settles his gaze on the curse as he continues to spill out his desires, unmasked and unashamed. It was bold to talk like this to Toji, but he can't help but recognize just how sincere Choso sounds in this moment. Nobody has ever desired him, really. Not in a way that Choso is expressing. Nobody but her of course. He doesn't understand. He's an anomaly, a throw away, and he thought for certain that nobody else in his sad and miserable life would ever truly feel that way about him again.
And he was fine with that, because deep down, he felt like it's exactly what he deserved. He deserves it after being such a disappointment to his clan, a disappointment to his son. He also knows if his wife would still alive, she would be disappointed in him too. Yet, he can't seem to pick the pieces off of the floor again; he doesn't know how to fix the mistakes he has wrought, so he doesn't bother cause it's easier that way.
Toji's eyes have grown slightly through all of this, but they drop down to a tired gaze as he reaches over and take the knife by the handle. ]
[ And then, he climbs into the tub with Choso, forcing his legs apart and kneeling there. It's a tight squeeze, but he makes it work, shadowing over the other man. The water spills off of his broad and bare frame and he raises the dagger.
In a simple swipe, he slashes down Choso's shirt, cutting, then tearing with his bare hands, splitting the cloth clean in two and exposing Choso's pale skin. ]
Talk like that again and I'll kill you.
[ Despite the intense move, the knife doesn't touch Choso's skin at all; he aims with such precision and knew exactly what strength to use. ]
[ there should be some kind of fear, here. he acknowledges that there should be an urgency, a spark of self-preservation to protect this wretched life of his; it is not his own anymore, not wholly, not while Yuji lives and Tsukumo's curse will lies settled into his bones. Choso must live still.
but when Toji speaks, all there is in him is a solidifying certainty he cannot put a name to. ]
I want you, Toji.
[ with the water's spray interrupted, his vision resolves enough to take in the goliath bent over him. the hulk of Toji's body blots out everything, eclipsing the room in muscle and sinew, the flickering light overhead throwing him into sharp and fitful relief until even his face seems hard to make out for it. like this, Toji is just a shadow, heavy and dense with hands that could crush Choso and a knife that could take him apart with laughable ease, but still he can find no fear worth the name. there is only a shivering energy, an anticipation wound tight in his gut, a tremble in his blood. when he breathes, it's a touch quicker, a bit harder than before.
his hand lifts, warm palm pressed against Toji's left pectoral where scar tissue meets unblemished skin.
[ It was easy to hastily push such a concept out of his head with Choso's chest now bare before him and he waited, like some sick sacrifice, yearning for the pain. He could do this; focus on their meticulous play and keep all of the soft feelings out of it. Choso keeps talking, though, with so much sincerity and a gentleness that Toji barely recognizes. He experienced sweet yearnings and confessions like this before, but never with someone who is just a sexual outlet; never with someone who was a one night stand or someone he repeatedly slept with. He pauses, allowing their gaze to meet, and searches for any signs of uncertainty or dishonesty. No, those were eyes of someone who truly wanted him and he couldn't comprehend why. ]
You..
[ His voice sounds harsh; cold. Like a warning. Like any minute he's just going to lose it and turn this into a war; a massacre.
But that moment never comes. Instead, his voice shifts into something else, something fatherly, like if he were chiding a kid. ]
You don't know what you want, you idiot.
[ It's not him, a scum of the Earth who knew nothing but loneliness most of his life. He shifts the blade and lowers his eyes, finding a place along Choso's chest that he tends to with surprising delicateness. You don't want to cut too deep, you don't want to cut something important. He finds a meaty part of Choso's chest and glides the knife along him, like a figure skate on ice. The cut is clean, the blade has been freshly sharpened. Red pours from the wound and vanishes within the water. He makes another mark on the same side, eyes lifting for a moment to gauge Choso's reaction. ]
[ there is a tipping point here, he knows, there is an edge that he keeps skirting with this man, these meetings, these vices. chains, the cold barrel of a gun, the shining edge of a knife; each time as dangerous as the last. it is a deadly game Choso has taken to playing with this man, the very embodiment of destruction, but each time he walks away from a bloody night he finds himself hungering for more, more, more.
it's just, is the thing. it's just, a comeuppance the world will not give him anywhere but here under Toji's shadow. two brothers dead from his cowardly decisions, six consumed and assimilated by the last standing. Shibuya razed to dust and ash because he was too blind to see the door he tore open out off Yuji's body. too weak to preserve Tsukumo's life, too mortal to do anything but to burn his own to save Yuji's, too much off a curse to fit in, too new to understand the things he needed to to ease the burden on his little brother's shoulders. too selfish, too slow, too much, not enough. even his blood was too toxic to give for another's benefit, his flesh too alien.
it's not your fault, he's been told time and again, by Yuji and Tsukumo and others too dear to see all he was, and their kindness stings like salt in a wound but it's not enough to make up for what he owes for his existence. it's not enough.
so when Toji's knife splits skin, Choso welcomes all that comes with it. two perfect fissures along the grain of the muscle beneath, two thin lines of pain that flare hot and settle into a throbbing kind of agony that persists as the water runs through the wounds. it burns, a cleansing fire that feeds on every sin he holds in him, and as he bleeds out into the warm spray he thinks he can feel the filth on his soul leach out of him too.
with the first cut, he grits his teeth. the second presses his head back against the side of the tub with a thin hiss of breath, wet hair plastered to his jaw, the water running rivulets down his face. spread knees shift up, pressing tight against Toji's sides.
[ As much as Choso welcomes the pain, Toji welcomes the blood, dangerous and deadly, but reduced to nothing once it dilutes with water and washes down the mucky drain. He sets aside the knife on the side of the bath tub to marvel at the spectacle which equally makes his blood turn hot. The way he wants to cut this creature into pieces is immense, but he has a greater obstinance that is fueled by-- what, care? It's something like that, because Toji knows he would feel as if something were missing if he did kill Choso and never saw that pathetic face of his again.
Toji feels his teeth gnash together behind his scarred lips at that realization.
He grabs Choso right under the taunt jaw, hand straddling his windpipe and pressing along the arteries of his neck. He dips down a breath away, scolding him again. ]
You can have this without having me. Without having anything to do with me. Leave your emotions out of it. Haa, you have some major problems talking to me like this.
[ He lets go of his neck and proceeds to tug down Choso's pants, fully exposing him and his hard cock. He rips the seam at the crotch, leaving it into shreds at his ankles. The cold blade of the knife meets at the thick, top surface of Choso's right thigh. ]
[ it’s almost decadent, the way Toji grasps him, from the iron of his grip to the way his fingers push inexorably and dizzyingly against Choso’s artery. it’s a pleasure all its own in the way it brings a deep flush to his face, colour suffusing his neck and shoulders like a spreading stain as his pulse pounds loud and heavy and laborious through his skull. he cannot begin to fathom how he must look, wretched thing that he is, gasping over Toji’s fist with saliva and water running rivulets out the corners of his mouth, eyes hooded and fixated up, up, up at the shadow of death that hovers over him. ]
Maybe.
[ his voice is a wet thing, thick with the effort of keeping the heaviest flow of water out of his mouth, but as Toji rips his pants asunder, Choso loses the battle with the shower’s flow and begins to sputter anew. pathetic creature. bared and bleeding, he still has the audacity to be aroused, his cock an aching weight where it lies full and heavy against his belly. his boots clatter and squeak against the rim, cloth remains tangling around his ankles even as he spreads his knees out as wide as the tub allows. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
we can make a mess out of my bathtub
[ It's risky, playing with cursed blood like this, but Toji was all about the gamble. Besides, if things get too sticky, he can turn the shower back on them.
It takes a moment, but Toji reads that message again. He's not the best with social cues but, something about how that text is on the screen seems.. fond? Oh well. He's not going to worry about how Choso feels about him. He's obviously just a wretched thing with no self control. Toji doesn't mind entertaining it if it also gets him off too. ]
no subject
[ a wretched thing with no self control is about right. choso certainly is the embodiment of it, skittering his way to where he knows Toji to be. it doesn't take long at all before he's there, knocking like it's just another visit, just another social call with anyone else.
waiting on the other side of the door stands choso. LILITH grey sweats seem to be his go-to outfit, but today his hair hangs loose, brushing just above his shoulders in a thick, dark mop. over his usual scent of iron lingers something softer; soap and shampoo, like maybe he'd scrubbed himself down before he could bring himself to message Toji in the first place; a ritual bath before battle. ]
no subject
Don't tell me that I have been in your mind lately.
no subject
[ he can't lie; not that he's able to do it well, but he doesn't doubt that Toji could pick it up in a heartbeat. but that's that, and this is this, and when the man's arm slings over his shoulders, Choso is too glad to walk crushed in as close as he can.
he's feeling bold enough to curl an arm around Toji's back, hand fitted against his treetrunk waist. ]
no subject
[ Toji seems to be guiding him somewhere, but like last time, he has a tendency to be a little impatient. Down the Brimstone hall they go, but he can't resist halting and cornering Choso against one of the walls. Instantly, Toji latches his mouth onto Choso's neck, speaking in between his progress to mark him up. ]
When are you going to get over it?
no subject
I can't.
[ strained. one hand curls into a claw over Toji's back, the other lifting as if to pull his head close, closer, always closer. ]
no subject
His teeth gnash in, just shy of breaking skin, but he knows better than to intake any of his putrid blood. He pulls away with a hot breath. ]
Cause you're weak.
[ He hums, thoughtfully, and like always, the only way he could show he actually had someone of care for the curse was to set certain boundaries. ]
Where am I to see you bleed out tonight?
[ where is he allowed to cut? ]
no subject
I am.
[ breathed, mumbled, a confession for Toji's sharp ears alone. Choso's fingers curl into shorter hair, his head tipping forward so he can whisper, ]
My chest. Thighs. Will that be enough? I can give you my back, too, but I want to see you more.
no subject
He takes a sharp inhale through his nose and pulls away, dragging Choso against his body once more as they exit the base. ]
I can pity you enough to give you that.
no subject
he's still uncertain if the frustration at Toji's capriciousness is a perk or not. ]
Your generosity knows no bounds.
[ a little sharper, a little huffier, annoyance borne from his now-obvious arousal left high and dry. nothing really got him as antsy as Toji's brand of teasing. ]
no subject
[ The way he cradles Choso, escorting him across to street to a shoddy little inn makes him almost seem like he's holding him close; like something to be cherished. Warmth is radiating off of his body into the chilly night, and there is a smile on his face that looks a little more genuine than his snarky little smirk. There really isn't much reason for being in such a good mood other than the fact that he was in the mood to have sex and Choso messaged him at the right moment.
He stops once they cross the street, catching Choso by the chin to kiss him on the mouth wordlessly, the dull side of his knife idly dragging up and down the top of his arm. He snakes the tip of it under Choso's shirt, and, still on the dull side, drags it along his abdomen, teasing with the steel and not cutting at all. His tongue knows no patience, pushing past his lips and sliding into Choso's mouth. ]
no subject
perhaps it’s why he all but melts against Toji when kissed. like his nerves are all irregular, wires crossed and circuits malfunctioning. the dull edge of the knife is almost electric. when their tongues meet, he groans low and hot into Toji’s mouth, inviting him in, damned whoever may be out and about to see. ]
no subject
Something isn't right with you. Wanna tell me what it is?
[ As they enter, like before, there's an AI kiosk waiting to dispense their keys, and surprisingly, Toji actually goes ahead and pays for the room this time. ]
no subject
something isn’t right with you, choso. what could it be? ]
I got tired of being angry.
[ he speaks as he looks around the lobby, idly picking out the little details that set it apart from the usual love hotel. even while Toji pays, he doesn’t leave the man’s side. ]
I want to be greedy instead. So here I am. Taking my fill.
no subject
The key is spit out from the kiosk and he puts it in his pocket along with his dagger, and since it's eerily absent here, his hand clasps the back of Choso's head, grabbing a fistful of hair. ]
You're just gonna take it, ah? That it?
[ He pulls him along to their room. ]
no subject
stupid, greedy curse. it like he was hoping for this; it isn’t the same if he can’t dig his heels in just to feel the futility of it. ]
‘Greedy’ doesn’t mean ‘doormat’-!
[ doesn’t it? ]
no subject
As for him, he starts to undress, standing outside of the bath, the bare, over head light flickering now and then. The hotel room itself smelled of ash.
The shirt gets peeled off and the knife gets placed on the sink counter as he talks: ]
What do you want from me? This greed you're talking about, tell me.
no subject
sprawled on his back in the tub, Choso can feel under his palms where the enamel has begun to crack from age, where old soap scum still lingers. the flickering of the light keeps drawing his gaze up, so when the water turns on it catches him in the eyes, turns the world into a stinging smear of shitty fluorescents and shittier tiles. as his clothing soaks through, the outline of his hard-on is impossible to hide.
sputtering and coughing under the deluge, Choso tries to ward it away from his face as he squints up, shoe squeaking against the tub in his fruitless attempt to sit up. ]
Everything.
[ his voice is made thick by the rivulets running into his mouth, his attempts to breathe out harder to keep the water from going up his nose again. ]
I want your attention. I want your touch. I want the bruises you give me because they make me think of you every time they ache.
[ bold, unabashed. in this dirty dank place, he spits this confession out with iron-tang water, his offering to this dreadful little altar they’re making of the room. ]
I want your cock, because when you use me, I can think I’m giving you something no one else can. I can be selfish even when I give you my whole body.
1/2
It's a love confession, whether Choso recognizes that or not.
Slowly, Toji settles his gaze on the curse as he continues to spill out his desires, unmasked and unashamed. It was bold to talk like this to Toji, but he can't help but recognize just how sincere Choso sounds in this moment. Nobody has ever desired him, really. Not in a way that Choso is expressing. Nobody but her of course. He doesn't understand. He's an anomaly, a throw away, and he thought for certain that nobody else in his sad and miserable life would ever truly feel that way about him again.
And he was fine with that, because deep down, he felt like it's exactly what he deserved. He deserves it after being such a disappointment to his clan, a disappointment to his son. He also knows if his wife would still alive, she would be disappointed in him too. Yet, he can't seem to pick the pieces off of the floor again; he doesn't know how to fix the mistakes he has wrought, so he doesn't bother cause it's easier that way.
Toji's eyes have grown slightly through all of this, but they drop down to a tired gaze as he reaches over and take the knife by the handle. ]
2/2
In a simple swipe, he slashes down Choso's shirt, cutting, then tearing with his bare hands, splitting the cloth clean in two and exposing Choso's pale skin. ]
Talk like that again and I'll kill you.
[ Despite the intense move, the knife doesn't touch Choso's skin at all; he aims with such precision and knew exactly what strength to use. ]
no subject
cursewill lies settled into his bones. Choso must live still.but when Toji speaks, all there is in him is a solidifying certainty he cannot put a name to. ]
I want you, Toji.
[ with the water's spray interrupted, his vision resolves enough to take in the goliath bent over him. the hulk of Toji's body blots out everything, eclipsing the room in muscle and sinew, the flickering light overhead throwing him into sharp and fitful relief until even his face seems hard to make out for it. like this, Toji is just a shadow, heavy and dense with hands that could crush Choso and a knife that could take him apart with laughable ease, but still he can find no fear worth the name. there is only a shivering energy, an anticipation wound tight in his gut, a tremble in his blood. when he breathes, it's a touch quicker, a bit harder than before.
his hand lifts, warm palm pressed against Toji's left pectoral where scar tissue meets unblemished skin.
he swallows, thickly. ]
You can kill me, but I won't stay away.
no subject
You..
[ His voice sounds harsh; cold. Like a warning. Like any minute he's just going to lose it and turn this into a war; a massacre.
But that moment never comes. Instead, his voice shifts into something else, something fatherly, like if he were chiding a kid. ]
You don't know what you want, you idiot.
[ It's not him, a scum of the Earth who knew nothing but loneliness most of his life. He shifts the blade and lowers his eyes, finding a place along Choso's chest that he tends to with surprising delicateness. You don't want to cut too deep, you don't want to cut something important. He finds a meaty part of Choso's chest and glides the knife along him, like a figure skate on ice. The cut is clean, the blade has been freshly sharpened. Red pours from the wound and vanishes within the water. He makes another mark on the same side, eyes lifting for a moment to gauge Choso's reaction. ]
cw: blood, description of injury
it's just, is the thing. it's just, a comeuppance the world will not give him anywhere but here under Toji's shadow. two brothers dead from his cowardly decisions, six consumed and assimilated by the last standing. Shibuya razed to dust and ash because he was too blind to see the door he tore open out off Yuji's body. too weak to preserve Tsukumo's life, too mortal to do anything but to burn his own to save Yuji's, too much off a curse to fit in, too new to understand the things he needed to to ease the burden on his little brother's shoulders. too selfish, too slow, too much, not enough. even his blood was too toxic to give for another's benefit, his flesh too alien.
it's not your fault, he's been told time and again, by Yuji and Tsukumo and others too dear to see all he was, and their kindness stings like salt in a wound but it's not enough to make up for what he owes for his existence. it's not enough.
so when Toji's knife splits skin, Choso welcomes all that comes with it. two perfect fissures along the grain of the muscle beneath, two thin lines of pain that flare hot and settle into a throbbing kind of agony that persists as the water runs through the wounds. it burns, a cleansing fire that feeds on every sin he holds in him, and as he bleeds out into the warm spray he thinks he can feel the filth on his soul leach out of him too.
with the first cut, he grits his teeth. the second presses his head back against the side of the tub with a thin hiss of breath, wet hair plastered to his jaw, the water running rivulets down his face. spread knees shift up, pressing tight against Toji's sides.
you don't know what you want.
doesn't he? ]
I know I want-- I want this. I want more.
no subject
Toji feels his teeth gnash together behind his scarred lips at that realization.
He grabs Choso right under the taunt jaw, hand straddling his windpipe and pressing along the arteries of his neck. He dips down a breath away, scolding him again. ]
You can have this without having me. Without having anything to do with me. Leave your emotions out of it. Haa, you have some major problems talking to me like this.
[ He lets go of his neck and proceeds to tug down Choso's pants, fully exposing him and his hard cock. He rips the seam at the crotch, leaving it into shreds at his ankles. The cold blade of the knife meets at the thick, top surface of Choso's right thigh. ]
Nobody should ever speak words of want about me.
no subject
Maybe.
[ his voice is a wet thing, thick with the effort of keeping the heaviest flow of water out of his mouth, but as Toji rips his pants asunder, Choso loses the battle with the shower’s flow and begins to sputter anew. pathetic creature. bared and bleeding, he still has the audacity to be aroused, his cock an aching weight where it lies full and heavy against his belly. his boots clatter and squeak against the rim, cloth remains tangling around his ankles even as he spreads his knees out as wide as the tub allows. ]
But I wuh-wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)